“Shh,” he whispers as whimpers start falling from my lips.
What the hell is happening? What am I doing? Am I really this desperate?
His fingers unhook my jeans and shove them to the floor along with my panties. His hands are gone and I’m gripping the edge of the bed afraid to let go. What is happening to me? Why am I letting some unknown man touch me? I want to recoil in fear and move, but for whatever reason I can’t. Fear? I don’t know.
I can hear his belt clink and fall to the floor before I hear the sound of a condom being ripped open. In seconds I feel his warm hands sliding down my skin. Bumps pop on my skin everywhere he touches. With his hand on my back he pushes me forward so that my chest is lying on the bed. I can feel him behind me as his hands slide over my flesh. I’m heating up in ways that I haven’t felt in so long.
“Please,” I cry out as tears slide down my cheeks.
What am I asking for? Do I want him to fuck me? Do I want him to take away all the memories? Do I want him to stop? God I don’t even know what I’m begging for.
Before I can think about it anymore he has his cock at my entrance and he’s entered me. Each thrust makes me both whimper and moan. Each plunge sends me closer to the ecstasy that I haven’t had in so long. This is all wrong, but this unknown man is making me feel so right. He leans over me with his warm body pressed against mine as I continue to pant and gasp.
“Feels so good,” he whispers near my ear and bites the lobe.
I’m in a world that isn’t my own. I’ve never felt pleasure like this. He kisses the back of my neck and I can feel the stubble on his jaw as it tickles my skin. He’s right about one thing though, it feels so damn good.
He grabs my hips as he begins to fuck me even harder. I close my eyes, but that’s a mistake. As he pounds into me every memory of the life I once had comes rushing back to me.
Him. He’s standing there watching as his men did whatever they wanted to me. No one was stopping them. I was simply a pawn. Then the blood; there was so much blood. I cry out as I come. My body shatters into a million pieces as each one cuts a little deeper than the last. I stay in the same position bawling and hating myself for everything.
I hate it all. There is no escape.
After what seems like hours later I slowly pull myself up. I grab my jeans and yank them back up my sore body. The man is long gone. I have no idea who I just let fuck me, but I miss him. I miss his words and his warmth. I’m crazy. Insane. How can I miss something like that? I don’t even know who he was.
I cry all the way into the back room and enter the bathroom. Paul had a shower put in a long time ago so that the homeless could come in here when needed. I reach in and turn the water to as hot as I can get it before I step in.
“What did you do?” I yell at myself while still crying.
How could I have been so stupid? What was I thinking? Why didn’t I just scream for help? I couldn’t fight? I’m weak. Just like they always told me I was. I remember their words. They’re repeating over and over as each one had their way with me. Women are weak. I’m weak.
Seven
Monster
“You ready?” Viking asks as I finish checking my guns. I slide one back into the holster and put the other one into the back of my jeans.
“Yeah. Let’s do this.”
He nods his head and pulls Carnie into his arms. He presses a kiss to her lips. Mason’s doing the same thing to Whit. Grinder grins and slaps a hand on my shoulder.
“You seen enough of this shit?” he asks nodding toward the guys.
“Nah, they’re whipped brother. Nothin’ they can do,” I laugh as we walk out of the door. I grab my bandana and tie it around my face before I look back toward Grinder. “Thought you had an old lady when I first got here?”
“I did. Cheatin’ bitch was fuckin’ one of the guys from Reaper’s Crew. Hell, maybe more than one of the guys.”
“No shit? I thought we were good with them?”
“We are. Which is why I tossed the bitch over to them. Never again Monster. I don’t want a woman that bad,” he answers shaking his head.
I remember the girl. She was cute, small, and petite. She had a look about her that screamed she wouldn’t be tied down. It reminds me of the look Kyza has. I can’t stop thinking about that girl. She has my head in knots, and my cock is even worse.
“What about you? You have a woman back in Cali?”
I shake my head and look away, “Long story there,” I mumble.
“Aren’t they all?” Grinder adds.
“I killed her.”
“What the fuck?”
“She was feedin’ some rivals intel. I found out before my boys did. It would have ended badly for everyone involved if I hadn’t handled it on my own. I couldn’t bring the club or the girls down like that. They never trusted her, so I told them she bolted.”
I’ve never told anyone that, but with Grinder I know it stays between us. Grinder has always been there for me since the moment I stepped foot in the door. He was the first one to step up to me as a real friend and I value that.
“Goddamn, and here I thought I had women problems. Never trust one again.”
“Never.”
And that’s the part that’s bothering me. I trust Kyza regardless if I know her or not. She has that edge to her. She’s almost vulnerable in a way. She locks herself up tightly, but when she looks at me, like she did that night, I know she’s better than she thinks she is. She has more to offer than even she knows.
And I want it. I don’t care how I get it either.
“Heard that. Let’s roll,” Grinder says.
I climb on my bike and rev up the engine as Viking and Mason come out of the building. I wait as they both climb onto their bikes and then follow them out. I know where we’re heading.
Our ride takes us a little over an hour. Heading to Key Largo wasn’t high on my list of things to do today, but it is what it is. I follow behind the guys through the gates at the end of the driveway. Armed guards stand on either side as we make out way up to the mansion and what a fucking mansion it is too.
Viking pulls up and parks and we all follow behind him. I’d been expecting to get a little bloody today, but by the looks of the guards around here I’m thinking if I shoot, it might be my goddamn blood being spilled.
I pull my helmet off and leave it on my seat as I follow the guys toward the steps. I pull my bandana off my face and wrap it around my head. Men eye us as we walk up the steps. We’re ushered toward the side of the house. I keep my eyes open as I’m cautious what might be waiting around that corner. I don’t know this asshole personally, but I’ve heard of him. He’s an over privileged punk that married into this life but that doesn’t make him any less lethal. The son of a bitch killed his wife’s father, forced her to marry him, and took over as king. He took her last name and all.
“Viking it’s good to see you man. I will assume your boys are armed?” Matthew asks as he looks around at us. I don’t like him, his slimy attitude or his slimy ways.
“You would assume correctly. I don’t go to war without weapons,” Viking answers.