“I’ve looked for purpose ever since. When I found out about you and what you were doing to help the trafficking, I knew that I could help. It has been satisfying to make a difference, Wynonna. Thank you for accepting me despite my deficiencies.”
I turned to look at him. “What deficiencies? You are a valuable partner and member of the group. I don’t know what we would do without you.”
“I wasn’t enough to save Sabine.”
I rarely tried to touch him, but in this moment, I couldn’t help myself. I turned to him and placed my palm on his cheek. “You are enough. Her death is not on you.”
He didn’t pull away from my touch. Instead, he wrapped his wings around us, enclosing us from the elements completely.
“Just like Kyrie’s problems aren’t your fault either.”
“Oh, I see. You told me all of that to get back to this,” I smirked and tried to pull away, but his wings held me face to face with him.
“I told you because I haven’t talked to anyone else about it. I told you because I trust you, and I know you hurt the way I hurt. I told you, so we could figure it out together.” His almost black eyes dug into my soul. He’d never been ingenuine about anything. I shouldn’t have expected it now. I fought off the feeling of safety while wrapped up in his wings. I fought back the feelings of a closer connection than I’d had with anyone since Kyrie left.
“Thank you, but I’m still not ready to talk about it.”
“I wasn’t trying to get you to talk. I was trying to get you to feel. The more you push it down, the more it will eat away at you. If you lose your emotion, you don’t just forget about the love and friendship you had. You forget how to hope. You forget how to dig deep to fight. We need you, and Steelshore needs you. All of you, including your emotions.”
For a moment, it felt like Dylan talking to me. He knew the right things to say when I needed to hear it. Of course, Levi had the same knack even if not quite as experienced. I didn’t see Rafe as a father figure though. Heavens knows I had enough of those. I didn’t know what he meant to me, but I released my emotions for a moment allowing tears to roll down my cheeks. He smiled as he wiped them away.
I leaned closer to him, and for the first time since we’d met, he wrapped me up in a hug and let me cry.
“You shouldn’t cry on my shoulder for very long. The pirate might kill me.” Dry delivery. I loved that about Rafe.
I looked up at him. “Did you just make a joke?”
“How was it?” he asked.
I started laughing. “First of all, it was deadpan, but asking about it, was funny. That’s the good stuff.” His forehead wrinkled. “Secondly, don’t worry about Seamus.”
“For a man who has lived and seen the worlds as he has, I find it interesting that he finds you attractive.”
“Rafe, that was rude.”
“It’s not because you aren’t attractive, it’s just that…never mind.”
“No, go ahead now.”
“He’s been with and seen lots of women.”
“So, what makes me different?” I asked, knowing the answer.
“You are out of his league.” That was not the answer I was expecting.
I stuttered over my response. “Well, no. I don’t see it. Well, it’s not that.”
“It is the truth.”
“Nice job digging yourself out of the hole, Feathers.” The pet name he hated. He grunted in response. “It’s because he’s conquered a lot of things including women over the years, but there has never been a female Phoenix.”
“So, he wants to burn?” he asked. I burst out in giggles. “That wasn’t an attempt at a joke.”
“I know! That’s when you are the funniest. Let’s go home.”
I fell backward off the side of the building igniting my wings in bright flames before cooling them to a black burning ember as I raced between the buildings to the apartments near our old headquarters that the owner didn’t see fit to rebuild after it burned. I heard the loud flap of feathered wings behind me. It always amazed me at how fast Rafe was. He’d raced Aydan and won up until the last minute when my brother, the Thunderbird, had overtaken him. I knew my Wild fallen angel. He let Aydan win.
I landed on the fire escape outside my room with Rafe who landed above me on the steps. I dipped into my room as he took the window into the living room. The apartment we’d planned to rent for him hadn’t panned out, and he had been stuck sleeping on my couch. I didn’t mind. It was nice to have someone here besides my two feline companions who had disappeared on a quest two days ago that they refused to detail before they left.
Peeling off layers of clothes, I crossed the room to the bathroom where I took a moderately long, hot shower. I felt the presence of someone in the apartment other than Rafe when I finished. Hurriedly, I slipped into a pair of cotton shorts and a tank top that said, “Hot Stuff.” Soraya had gotten it for me as a joke.
Opening the door to the living area, I found Rafe seated in the chair in the far corner with Seamus sprawling across my couch. The king of manspreading. Seamus knew how to sit and make it an art form. Sexy. Confident. His presence filled the room.
“He swears he isn’t here to kill me,” Rafe said. I smirked.
“To which I question, is there some reason I need to terminate his life?” Seamus asked me with a devious grin.
“No, not at all,” I replied, clearly hiding something which drove Seamus crazy. His eyes lit up as he watched me cross the room to pour a cup of coffee which I assumed Rafe had made. He was getting better at the mundane tasks of everyday. I’d only had to replace the coffee maker three times since he arrived. He’d gotten it right this time. I gave him a wink as I took a sip. “Seamus, forgive me. Would you like a cup?”
“No, I brought my own,” he said, showing me the flask in his pocket.
“It’s late. Why are you here?” I asked.
“Can’t I drop in to see my favorite bird in Steelshore?” he replied with his usual smooth manner.
“You can, but you don’t,” I replied taking a seat in the chair opposite of him. He looked at the empty spot next to him on the sofa, then back to me with the fakest sad puppy dog eyes I’d ever seen. “Alright, Pirate. What’s the deal?”
He sighed. “There isn’t always a deal, but in this case, there is.” I waited for him to spill it. Rafe wasn’t leaving the room. Sometimes I got the impression that he was protecting me from Seamus, who was harmless. Well, not really to other people, but his orgasmic touch had no effect on me. “I have been granted permission to visit Wonderland.”
I jumped up and almost spilled my coffee. “You did? Can I go? Is Callum there?” I asked.
He held up his hands to slow my questions. Rafe leaned forward in his chair with a concerned look on his face.
“There are rumors that your brother has been there. I do not know if he is there now or not, and it is extremely dangerous. You will have to die to cross over, and it will be tricky getting back out. But I believe we can do it, if you still want to go.”
I rushed across the room, landing in Seamus’ lap, and hugged him. “Yes! When do we leave?”