Home > Bayou Reckoning(4)

Bayou Reckoning(4)
Author: Apryl Baker

Eli should have lived, and I should have died.

Even admitting that hurts because it means Dan would have died, but maybe we both shouldn’t be here. All the powers that be say we’re abominations and that our choosing each other caused all sorts of horrible things. We were both selfish.

One day, that knowledge will hit Dan, and when it does, he’s not going to take it well. One day, he’ll be faced with the consequences of what we did. Meg died because of us, but I have a feeling there are worse things out there than the death of my best friend and Dan’s old girlfriend. Bad things that will come for us and make us face our choices.

God, I’m being morose. It has to be because I’m trapped here and at the mercy of a deranged vampire. He’s been in my thoughts, and he’s probably manipulating me, forcing me to think about the things I do my best to forget. Things I feel guilty about.

Even though I know we should have died, I will never regret saving Dan. He’s the entire reason I’m alive now, the reason I’m becoming the kind of person he deserves. He’s the reason my heart beats and the reason I understand love. He’s everything to me.

So, despite my own guilt, despite my knowing we should be dead, I’ll fight to my last breath to save him. And that means staying alive until I can get out of here. Or Dan finds me. I’m not going to bet on that, though. I grew up on my own, and I know how to survive. I’ll survive one way or another.

“There’s the fighter I know.”

My head snaps up, peeking out from under the covers. That was Eli’s voice. I know it as well as I know my own. But I don’t see him.

Maybe all this darkness and being utterly alone is getting to me. Silence is just as much of an assault on the mind as blaringly loud music for days on end. I think that’s why prisons have solitary confinement. I’m fairly sure the prisons would say otherwise, but it’s my opinion, and I’ll keep it.

I’m so tired, but sleep taunts me. It teases me into a lulled state, and then some noise will interrupt me, like the sound of rats or the odd noise outside the door to this room. I know what’s out there. I saw them. They know who I am. All ghosts do. They’re drawn to me like a sailor to a lighthouse. If it weren’t for the iron encasing me, they’d be in here.

I’ve never been without my power to see a ghost since I woke up with the ability at five years old. At first, I’d been so scared I didn’t know what to do, and then I figured out if I ignored them, they’d go away. Still, I’d always known where they were because I could see them. I never realized how important that was to me until now. Not being able to see them is scarier than seeing the mangled and disfigured echoes of who they were and how they died.

And with a basement full of ghosts that had been insane and murderous in life, not having my abilities makes this a thousand times more terrifying. I used to hate my ability, but I’ve grown to understand it’s as much a gift as a curse. I’m able to help lost souls move on, to cross over and rejoin their loved ones on the other side. At least I hope so. I’ve got no idea what’s actually on the other side. I might be a living reaper, but that doesn’t mean I’ve actually taken a soul to the other side. Kane always did that.

A stab of pain slices through my heart. Kane’s somewhere being punished, and I don’t think that means detention. Reapers can be cruel because most of them don’t care about anything except their purpose. Kane cared. He helped me more times than I can count, and I have to find a way to rescue him.

One more reason to survive this place and Kristoff.

I can’t save Kane if I don’t get out of here.

I wish I wore a watch. At least I’d know what time it is and when I can expect the next torture session to begin. From here on, I’m always going to wear one.

Strange to be thinking of my lack of a watch when I have so many other things to worry about, but the mind is strange itself. Or the brain, I guess. I read once that humans only use about twenty percent of their brain. Maybe I use twenty-one percent or something like that with my reaping abilities. Still, the brain is a mystery, especially for those of us with special abilities.

“Hilda, you need to stop thinking about nonsense. We have to talk.”

No, no, no. Eli is not here. He’s dead. He crossed over. I watched him cross over. He can’t be here.

“I am here, Mattie. I promise. Open your eyes and really look.”

This is another of Kristoff’s tricks. I’m asleep, and he’s messing with me. To use Eli against me, that is plain cruel. He knows how much Eli meant to me and the awful, crippling guilt I carry with me because of his death.

Warmth wraps around me, so bright and hot, it chases the cold away. I haven’t felt this warm since Eli was alive. A tear leaks out as that heartbreaking grief invades my soul. I miss him so much.

“I’m right here. Just open your eyes and look.” The whispered words compel me to do as he asks.

Pulling the lone blanket down, I open my eyes and focus on the warmth surrounding me. It’s a heat I remember well. Only Eli could warm me through, chase away the cold that seeped into my bones from all the ghost energy I carry around with me. Only Eli burned me up in an instant blaze when his lips touched mine.

As my eyes adjust to the darkness, a shape takes form in front of me. At first, it’s just a shadow in the darkness, but as I stare and remember everything about Eli and the way he made me feel, the outline fills in, and soon, those beautiful aqua eyes are shining at me from a face that hints at mischief and devilry. Blond hair streaked with tones of caramel and toffee falls over his left eye, and he brushes it aside.

It really is him.

But how?

He shakes his head and smiles. “Really, Hilda? We just had this conversation last night. What did I promise you?”

“You’d always find me.”

“That’s right. Just because I died doesn’t mean I stopped being your Guardian Angel. That’s a bond not even death can break. When you truly need me, I’ll always find you.”

“Can you go find Dan or Zeke and tell them where I am?”

“No. You’re the only person who can see me. I did die, Hilda.”

“My dad and Mary…they can see…”

He’s shaking his head before I even get the words out, and the hope that sprang to life dies an agonizing death.

“I’m your Guardian Angel, not theirs. That’s the only reason you can still see me with that thing around your neck.”

“Are you a figment of my imagination or something? My freaked-out mind conjure you up to keep me from being so scared?”

He grins. “Does it matter?”

No, I guess not. “Did you see the crazy ghosts?”

That wipes the grin off his face. “Those are some seriously dangerous ghosts. It’s a good thing you’re encased in iron.”

Which makes me think Eli is a figment of my imagination. He’s dead, so he’s technically a ghost. Ghosts can’t cross an iron barrier.

“You’re forgetting I have Angel blood. I’m not an ordinary ghost.”

“Are you reading my mind?”

He laughs, and the sound is a balm to my shredded nerves. God, I missed him so much.

“I’m a ghost, so yes, I am hearing your thoughts the same way any other ghost can communicate with you.”

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