Chapter 1
Easton
There were a couple of things I looked forward to after a long run. Drinking a cold cup of water was high on the list, along with a hot shower. What I didn’t anticipate was a disgruntled woman waiting for me on the living room couch, her arms crossed, eyes filled with aggravation as if I’d ruined her day. The person in question was Lila, the lady I’d been seeing, and I had a feeling she was about to let me have it.
I’d made it clear from the start that I was only up for casual dating, but from the look in her eye, we were going to revisit that discussion. I wiped my forehead with the bottom of my gray t-shirt and set foot into the living room. “Didn’t know you were stopping by today.” My jaw tightened, but it wasn’t intentional.
She flipped her light blonde hair over one shoulder and glared at me. “Seriously? You should check your texts more often.”
The sarcasm in her voice filled the room with enough tension to make any sane man want to run out the back door and never return, but I’d been in this situation before, and it didn’t faze me anymore. Women always had expectations when it came to relationships, and usually around four months in, they’d start to realize I wasn’t going to meet those expectations. I never initiated the breakups, but my level of investment wasn’t sufficient to keep the relationships alive. Come to think of it, we were at the four-month mark.
“That’s probably true.” There was no apology in my tone, but then again, there never was. “I should have gotten back to you, but I’ve been busy. You know how it is with work.”
“I don’t deserve to be treated this way.” She stood and stared at me with wild eyes, her fists clenched at her sides like a child ready to have a full-blown tantrum. “If you find time to go jogging, you can find time to get in touch with me.”
That was true, but training for the Warrior Obstacle Challenge was my first priority and everything else would have to take a back seat to that goal. My father tried to get me to sign-up with him a year ago, but I wasn’t interested at the time. He pushed too hard and the stress from work, along with a family history of heart disease, led to a heart attack. My mom came home from shopping and found him on the floor with no one around. She called the paramedics, and they rushed him to the hospital but he didn’t make it. Now, I was taking up the torch and running in his place. In honor of him. It was something I had to do. Needed to do.
It was the only thing that mattered to me at the moment. Lila didn’t know about the race, so I couldn’t get angry with her for scolding me. Our relationship had slowly dwindled down, anyway, and there was little to say for us beyond fancy dinners at the finest restaurants with subpar conversations about shallow topics I had no interest in. But that was our arrangement of sorts. I showered her with expensive things, and she was there to keep the loneliness away.
“I’m sorry about not calling,” I said. “I’ll try to do better.”
“That’s not good enough at this point.” Her bottom lip trembled, and I knew what was coming next. “It’s been four months. If you don’t see a future with me, then I need to move on.”
“I assumed we were having a nice time together, but you know where I stand on relationships. I’m not ready for anything too serious right now.”
“I thought I was okay with it,” she said, “but I’m not.”
Fair enough. “I understand. The last thing I want to do is hurt you.”
Her eyes brightened, and she stood a little taller as if my statement had given her hope. “If that’s how you feel, Easton, consider taking our relationship to the next level.”
I shifted and pushed a hand into my pocket, wariness filling me at the pleading tone of her voice. “I can’t…” My throat thickened, and the words refused to form on my lips.
She stepped closer, and her eyes pleaded with me to change my mind, but nothing would alter my thinking at this point. I’d been this way for as long as I could remember, and after Dad died, it only got worse. I doubted anything or anyone would alter that in the near future, and like it or not, it was just who I was. People either accepted me or they moved on.
“Please, Easton. I know you’re scared of commitment, but let down your guard. Let me be there for you.”
There was so much earnestness in her expression that I felt like a jerk, but there wasn’t much I could do. Strike that. There wasn’t anything I was willing to do.
Yep, that summed it up.
Change wasn’t embedded in my DNA. Dad learned that very quickly. And now I would have to live with the consequences of letting him down for the rest of my life. Lila was better off without me.
“I think it’s best if we part ways,” I said. “I’m not ready for anything more than what we already have.”
She stared at me in disbelief for one hot second, and then she slapped me hard across the face, her eyes flickering with fury. That fury quickly turned to hurt as she stumbled back, tears dripping down her cheeks like rain on a glass window. “You’ll regret this, Easton. One day you’ll be old and alone and you’ll remember this conversation.” Her expression hardened, and she pointed a finger at my face. “By then I’ll be married to someone else, and it will be too late.” She spun on her heel and walked out the door, but not before glancing at me one last time. Her anger slipped for just a moment, and I caught a glimpse of pain there.
Sadly, I didn’t feel the slightest urge to run after her, and that had to be a sign. Maybe it should have bothered me more, but it was just another day in the life of Easton Radcliffe, and that wasn’t saying much.
***
“Thank you for joining us, Mr. Radcliffe.” Joanna Lynn, the manager of the private foster care agency, Children’s Commission, stepped forward and shook my hand. “None of this would be possible without you.” She’d pulled her brown hair into a low ponytail and the crows’ feet at her eyes crinkled the slightest bit as she smiled.
I glanced at my Vacheron Constantin watch and nodded, anxious to get this over with. We were at a designated area for company picnics at Six Flags Magic Mountain, a theme park about an hour north of Los Angeles, and while I was happy to provide the funds for a foster youth event, I had other things on my mind today. “Glad to be here.” The words slipped out of my mouth, smooth and professional, and they weren’t a lie exactly. I did actually care in a manner of speaking.
Of course, I wanted underprivileged children to have what they needed. Who wouldn’t?
I just didn’t particularly feel like being here. Not because the kids weren’t worthy of my time. That wasn’t it at all. The real issue was…I wasn’t good at this. Never had been. I was definitely out of my element here.
Dad had volunteered with this particular agency for quite a while, and once I took over his company, Project Helpers, I felt obliged to do the same. Providing financially for events like this was no problem at all. I’d considered handing over a check and telling Joanna I couldn’t make it, but something told me I should at least show up. I did have basic decency regardless of what others thought.
“The volunteers are getting ready to start a game,” she said, looking at me as if trying to gauge how interested I was. “I would invite you to join in but…” She glanced at my black business suit and raised an eyebrow. “I don’t think you’re dressed appropriately for that.”